The Centre of Attention. Photo from Kaza, India by Yash Raut.

 

Aedgar’s words are written this way.

Nel and Hedda’s words are written like this.


Hedda: I still have too many questions. I had a strong time. I want to get my happiness back. I had to spend a lot of money. Will it get better?

A: You had a?

Nel: She had a ’strong time’ she said. I think she’s got two questions here: one is that she would like to get her happiness back, the other is that she’s worried about getting her money back. They’re not necessarily the same thing.

If you do what what you’re supposed to do… You can easily find out what that is, because if you love to do something, you are doing what you’re supposed to do— this will bring you happiness.

If you get distractions—and you follow this one and that one, and this one, and then you get more distraction and work that’s not supposed to be yours—you won’t be happy.

You have to look after yourself, my dear. Focus on what you want to achieve. You, and no one else. Focus on it.

If it makes you happy, you do it.

If you feel like, ‘I can’t even look at it,’ walk away. You’re not supposed to do it.

Hedda: Okay.

If you wanna solve problems, solve issues, you know, sit down with a coffee and do some crosswords or other things. You don’t need all these other distractions.

 ‘Approach it like a game,’ Artwork by Miguel Angel Belinchón Bujes, “Belin” , photo by  Quino Al .

‘Approach it like a game,’ Artwork by Miguel Angel Belinchón Bujes, “Belin” , photo by Quino Al.

If you feel like solving a problem, approach it as you’d play a game: have some little riddles here and there that you want to pay attention to.

But stay out of things that you would consider real problems, especially if they’re not yours. Because you’ll get distracted.

You’ll have less time for yourself and then you’ll get dissatisfied, angry. ‘Why did I do this? Why did these people not understand? I solved their problem!’

This is your problem.

Don’t solve it. It’s theirs.

You sit. You know?

Sit back. Take a coffee, smoke a pipe and watch things unfold. You understand?

It’s so much more fun to just sit and watch, instead of being stuck right in the middle.

If you’re in the middle, you don’t see what’s going on around you. I think we’ve had this discussion before. You don’t want to be in the centre.

Not the centre of attention, not the centre of problems: you don’t wanna be there.

Because you don’t have the overview of everything then. You don’t have eyes on the back of your head. You never see what’s going on behind you.

People say, ‘Oh, I was pushed into a corner, I couldn’t move anymore.’ Actually, that’s quite a good position. You’ll always know what’s behind you.

Sometimes people get pushed into that corner if they don’t understand that it was a bad position to be in, in the centre of it all. You understand?

 Safer in the corner. Photo by  Fernando.

Safer in the corner. Photo by Fernando.

You don’t have to learn these things: that’s it’s much safer in the corner. You don’t have to be pushed there in that corner.

You can just walk around everywhere, like everybody else. You don’t have to stand in the corner. Because you’ve understood, this is a good place, that you don’t have to be in the centre.

And then life is easier because Life does not have to prove to you that this is the wrong place and that’s the safe place.

Once you’ve learned that, you can move around freely, without any problems.

You understand?

Hedda: Hmm.

These are lessons, lessons that are taught.

If you don’t need these lessons anymore, you won’t be pushed into a corner.

Because that means you’ve understood that it’s safe. You might say, ‘But I don’t like it. It’s too safe.’ But, it’s a dumb idea to be in the centre of attention.

You understand?

It will give you so much freedom and joy and happiness. You can just sit somewhere and watch things unfold. And then you can give comments.

Comments like, ‘Ah, bad idea. Could have done it differently.’

You don’t need to be part of it. You can give your comments. It’s so much more fun—after they try to solve a problem.

Because it is their turn to learn this. It’s not yours. It’s not your job. You’ve got your own things to cover. If you do the problem-solving, you will attract only problems and people with problems.

Of course they want you to solve it. But it’s not yours to do so because that way they will never learn.

You don’t have to learn it anymore. You did.

They have to learn it. And they never will if you offer to do so for them.

Just watch it.

And believe us, it’s so much more fun to leave a comment, you know, even a bad one from time to time, after they’ve failed. They can try again. Because it’s their thing they have to learn and they have to do. Not yours.

You understand?

Hedda: I hope so.

Nel: I think she’s had this experience already with her former friend Max.

Who?

Nel: Max.

[Whispers] Parasitic item.

Nel: [To Hedda] Did you hear that? You’re not surprised, huh?

There’s still a few more around.

You have some of them cruising around you. Maybe you should flick some off, too. Like the Multiverse is doing with this planet, if it continues as it is.

Nel: What about—what’s his name with the terrible hairstyle?

Who?

Nel: Steve. What about Steve?

 Photo by  Clay Banks .

Photo by Clay Banks.

Lost. Lost on many levels. Trying to get problems solved. If you don’t solve your problems, you don’t learn how to do it. You’ll encounter more problems until you learn how to solve them.

Nel: That’s what he’s experiencing? So she can’t solve them for him?

No.

Nel: ‘Cause that’s what he’s hoping, isn’t he?

Yes. There can be a little bit of support. In this case support means, maybe, a kick in the butt. ‘Just go and do it!’

But they have to do it themselves because it’s their problem. Otherwise there will be one problem after the next, after the next, to the next.

Nel: Is he a good person for Hedda to plan to live with?

Yes. He’s a goodhearted person.

Nel: He wants to live in her house, or in the building next to her house. He has a long-term—

He could do house-keeping, maintenance. He’s very good for these kinds of things.

Pause.

Don’t let him near any paperwork. Not good.

Hedda: I know.

We know it, too.

Hedda: No paperwork, for Steve, no.

No. No documents, no important paperwork.

Nel: Thank you for your advice.

You’re welcome, any ’time’.

Nel: [Laughs] I guess we’d better let you go.

Hedda: Thank you.

Nel: It’s so good to see you.

So, we’ll talk to you another time, then.

Nel: Yes, please.

Hedda: Yes.

Good.

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