Photo by Volkan Olmez
Aedgar's voice is written this way.
Kareena's voice is written like this.
I had a partner I had to leave, years ago. His name is Tom.
Tom.
Any advice for me, with him?
[Pause]
So. He might contact you about something like -- how should I put it?
See, there was quite a bit of disappointment with you. He did not understand the way you acted and reacted. We think you went away at a stage when everybody thought that he was needing you more than ever. He was very, very disappointed.
Photo by Rémi Walle.
You did him quite a favour. Because he would have been stuck in the same position. It was about letting go, moving on, getting better at things. Now he’s got an opportunity where someone near to him has the same feeling that he had before.
She says, ‘Support. I need you right now more than ever.’
We think he might approach you at some stage feeling bad. There’s still a little bit of disappointment there. So it would be something like, ‘Do you think I should do the same thing that you did?’
Sometimes it’s doing someone a great favour to get out of a situation and move on by, you might say, just dropping them.
Yes. I think I should --
This is there for the experience.
Yes. I would have helped him if I’d done it sooner I think.
Maybe, maybe. This was not about you. You were the one that was supporting a learning experience. Do you understand?
Yes, thank you.
Something like this will be coming up, we think. Drop someone to give them a chance to move on and finally get better.
Sometimes you do someone a favour by saying goodbye. Photo by Rémi Walle.
Yes.
And it will show him how it might have felt to you. Because there is still that disappointment in the back of the head, as you might say. It is still around, there is this, ‘But why? I would have never hurt her, I would have never -- ’, these kinds of thoughts. He will be in a similar situation.
Good.
With someone who’s around already.
Is it his wife?
This learning experience has been going on for a while. Pardon?
Is it his current wife or his daughter?
What are the names, my dear?
His daughter is Scylla and his wife is Prue.
Prue. Has to learn quite a bit too about guilt and letting go. Other one?
Scylla.
'Looking for exit points'. Photo by Randy Tarampi.
Scylla will have to learn. She has felt, ‘You’re stuck. Be stuck in this forever. You have no chance to move on. You’ve been looking for exit points.’
Yes she has.
[Looking into Scylla’s energy—as if talking to her] The exit points have not been there for you.
Because you wanted to come back and learn.
[Pause]
She must have been very angry for quite a while because of these exit points. She thought she could use them. But they weren’t hers. She was supposed to learn this. If she had been offered one of these exit points she would have taken it because she thought it was too hard to learn this lesson. And then, she would have had to do it over and over and over again.
Photo by Namao Saeki
We are still not quite sure if she will manage. She’s quite stuck. Quite stuck in her way of thinking and -- quietly, quietly blaming … Like ‘Look at me’, without saying anything.
Sometimes she does say something but mainly it's as if, ‘I’m just sitting here, being’ -- as they might call it -- ‘a spitting image of your guilt.’
‘You’re not supporting me. It’s all your fault.’
If you come for this experience but you’re not ready to do it or you decide it’s too hard, and then there is no exit point open to you, that is quite hard. We understand that’s quite hard.
So if she still has the chance to sit and just be the spitting image of the guilt, every time they look at her, she won’t go any step ahead. Be stuck there forever. Everybody else will be stuck there too. I mean, they learnt their lesson already. Your former husband has learned that lesson already.
I understand how this can happen because you can’t move forward if you’re stuck in a situation. Someone has to give you that little push or, sometimes, hold back.
So he might have to leave.
Yes. We are not quite sure if two of them are going to leave. The smarter decision would be make the other one leave.
Indeed.
Which is not easy.
No. Not at all.
Someone will have to leave. Photo by Juan Di Nella.
Because she is too stuck. Too stuck—unless there will be another one taking over who has to learn the same lesson. You need to be able to let go.
So this pattern can go on for quite a while with others as well. They feel attracted, of course, because they have to learn that.
So is she in a role of martyrdom or is that her goal in this life? Scylla? To be a martyr? Is she one of those?
She’s quite a young soul.
[Pause]
It’s more like a greed.
Oh yes.
And it’s about, ‘I want all the feelings. I want it all to myself. I want all your attention’. Martyrs take things on and a lot of the time suffer quietly.
Yes, that’s true. She doesn’t suffer quietly.